I Hate These Things

March 27th, 2006 by Rob Osborn
You Are Fozzie Bear

“Wocka! Wocka!”
You’re the life of the party, and you love making people crack up.
If only your routine didn’t always bomb!
You may find more groans than laughs, but always keep the jokes coming.

Posted in Humor | 6 Comments »

Sorting out the Junk (in the basement and in my head)

March 10th, 2006 by Rob Osborn

Now that the studio is finished and i’m trying to get some projects rolling here, the time has come to start getting some of my crap cleaned up around here. I’ve got boxes of junk that i’ve saved for years that i’ve got to sort out. A couple of nights ago i sorted through a couple hundred CDRs that i’ve saved since i bought my first CD burner back in ‘99. I complied all the files onto my hard drive and threw all the cds away. CDR technology has improved quite a bit since i bought my first ones and some of the old ones have started to fall apart. So now that i’ve gotten that finished i’ve turned to the boxes and boxes of cassette tapes. I haven’t had a cassette deck for many years and so i haven’t been able to do anything with these tapes. Today i found an old Sony cassette deck at a pawn shop for $15 bucks, and i’ve been copying all these old cassettes to my computer. Most of them are recordings i made of all my old songs when i was writing them. A few are concert bootlegs that i made of concerts i attended. And then there’s the set of master tapes i found for my cd project “splinters’ that i recorded back in ‘99. But we don’t talk about that any more.

Anyway, in both cases (the CDR’s and the cassettes), i’ve discovered that it’s a great feeling to exchange a huge pile of CDs or a small trashcan full of tapes for one DVD-R or a folder on my hard drive. It’s made me think a bunch about how much stuff in my life is wasted space. For instance, with these tapes, very few of them have more than 10 or 15 minutes of any stuff on them. They’ve been taking up all this room in my closet for so long and most of it has been wasted space (not to mention all the wasted dollars i spent on blank tapes over the years). Anyway…yes, there are some life-applicable things there i think.

I’ve also been thinking about my tendency to hang onto the past and the things i’ve experienced in it. I’m the kind of person who saves every email that i’ve ever received. I guess that’s also why i’ve loved bootlegging concerts ever since i’ve started going to them. For some reason i’m always trying to do whatever i can to preserve the moment. It’s a good thing i don’t have a video camera.

Forgive me if this post isn’t coherent at all. I’m listening to a tape of Elizabeth talking into her tape recorder back at Bryan College in ‘99. I think she made the tape for Alice, but if she’d known that i existed at the time she would have made it for me–so i don’t feel like i’m evesdropping.

I realize that i’m hitting on all these things and not really carrying any of my thoughts through to completion. Sorry about that. I have been thinking about a lot of stuff lately that i should be writing about. Today i got a good pep-talk from Melissa encouraging me to give up my aspirations of crime. You see, i’ve got this foolproof scheme all planned out to steal as much gasoline as i could possibly use. The brillience of the plan is that i wouldn’t be stealing from any ‘person,’ but from about a half dozen different companies who would never be the wiser and who would never feel the effects even if they knew. The scheme has almost no risk, either of failure or of discovery. It’s about as good a small-time crime scheme as anyone could hope for. I’m too much of a chicken to ever carry out the plan. Of course, that hasn’t stopped me from making it *grin*

I’m sharing this for two reaons. One of them is to give you some insight into my head–see? I’m not such a good guy after all. Hopefully none of you had any illusions broken down just now. Being a Christian, i find that people think it’s pretty funny when i start talking about my different crime schemes. So far, in addition to a life’s supply of gasoline, i’ve got foolproof plans for stealing cable tv and for disposing of any dead human (or animal) bodies should the need ever arise. Admittedly, some of the schemes are a result of living with a wife who writes crime fiction–it’s just my way of keeping up with her. Although, occasionallly she asks for a creative way to deal with a murder or something in her book–my answers usually scare her and she stops asking. I think i would have made a better criminal than i am a christian. Unfortunatly.

The other reason i’m talking about this is just to discuss the fact that some of these things are real temptations to me (not the murdering or dismemberment stuff–kimmy). I’m often dissapointed in myself when i realize that there are a lot of things i would do without a second thought if i knew i would never be caught. It was a sobering for me when i realized how little i actually consider eternity when i’m making decisions about my life here. I guess i don’t have much more to say about this right now. And, don’t worry. Anyone who can prove they read this post is immune from dying a horrible death by a red-hot horseshoe. If it comes down to that, i’ll make sure it’s painless for y’all (I’ve got a method planned out for that too).

Dark enough for ya Sam?

Posted in Thoughts & Musings | 2 Comments »

The Dead Man’s Glue and MySpace

March 2nd, 2006 by Rob Osborn

I’m pretty tired at the moment, but wanted to take a few minutes to write–i’m going to try to get some momentum going on the blog so that i don’t go another 8 weeks without writing.

For some reason, people that i work with have been dying. The first one happened a bit over a year ago. I was called to a recently-widowed woman’s house to fix a spot on her sofa that had been left there when her husband’s body was removed by paramedics. He’d died as he was napping on the sofa. He was in his early 30s. As i was there looking around i recognized him in some photos as a man that regularly called me into his body shop to fix cars he was working on. It was something of a shock, needless to say. About a month ago i went into Sheelys, a local furniture store, and was told that the service manager, who i spoke with frequently, had died suddenly the week before. She was 41 or 42. Needless to say, i’ve been thinking about this a lot.

Anyway, i got a call from a lady late last week. I called her back and she told me that her husband, who had a vinyl and leather repair business like mine, had died suddenly in his sleep. She was looking for someone to buy all his tools and supplies and wondered if i would be interested. It was an odd situation. I wasn’t exactly sure how to respond. This morning i went down to Lake Tomahawk to her house and looked at what she had. I ended up taking all of it (if i didn’t buy it she was going to have to throw it away). I paid her what i could afford to offer for the stuff and i brought it all home. I’ve been sorting it out tonight. I did end up throwing a lot of it away, but i found some useful items. The most interesting part of it all though was that while i was loading all of the stuff into my car i noticed a small bottle that said “flexible leather adhesive.” The fact that i noticed it at all was amazing–there was probably 300 bottles of various paints and glues. Anyway, my next stop for the day was a job that i “forgot” to do last week. I didn’t really forget–i was putting it off because i couldn’t figure out how to fix a rip in this woman’s leather chair. I needed, you guessed it, flexible leather adhesive–something that i didn’t even know how to order. The chair repaired beautifully, and i drove home in amazement.

I’ve been thinking about how God has such an odd way of providing for us. And, how much He provided for us things that we don’t even ask for. I have to be honest, i don’t normally kneel down and pray about things like leather glue or even about my work at all. For some reason i’ve just conditioned myself to think that God doesn’t care about that part of my life, or that it’s stupid to ask Him to provide for aspects of my business.

About a year ago i bought a copy of the NIV New Testament on CD to listen to in the car. I found it the other day and have been listening through the first three gospels. It’s interesting that one of the verses that stuck out at me yesterday was the one about the Father knowing what we need before we ask Him for it. God must be trying to tell me something–and after today it’s hard to ignore it–even if the object lesson was a little bottle of glue that i received from a dead man.

I’ll stop talking about death now.

This is my official blog announcement that i’ve gone public on MySpace. For anyone who doesn’t know what MySpace is, it’s basically a web site where musicians and fans of musicians each get their own little page to share music and link to each other. It’s a form of networking i guess. Anyway, i’ve had a page for a few months but haven’t done anything with it. So, this evening, between sorting out old pain and washing old paint bottles in the sink, i spent some time getting some information up on MySpace and sending out friend requests to all of my favorite musicians. So…check it out! I’ve got some live songs up there from last April when i opened for Ryan Wilkins at Old North Church. I’m hoping to get some demos from my new CD up there in the next couple of weeks–which would be better than the crappy-sounding bootlegs. Also, nearly everyone in my ‘friends’ list right now are amazing musicians y’all should be listening to. All of the have some of their songs up on their pages, so follow the links and find some great music to listen to. You won’t regret it. If you’re really ambitious, sign up for your own account and become a part of the community. It’s not as fun as blogging, but it’s fun. Just by following random links i’ve come across several musicans who are really good and who i never would have heard of if not for MySpace. So, check it out! My address is: http://www.myspace.com/robosborn. Be sure to check out Greg Adkins and Dave Potts especially…it’s some fantastic music–alright, i could say that about most of the people there. So check them all out. Seriously though, I’ve gotten to know Greg and Dave on the songwriting board i hang out on. They’re amazing songwriters.

Alright it’s late…so i’m heading out. Have a good one y’all!

Posted in Music, Thoughts & Musings | 2 Comments »

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